Lost Reason
by SN-Amethyst-UK
Summary: Kaoru comes to a realisation. Can he come clean to his brother? Rated M for safety. One Shot.


_a/n Hello again readers! This is a Hika/Kao story written while I was listening to Lost Reason by Abingdon Boys School. Check it out. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran or the characters._

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__Kaoru_

I sat there looking at him across the room. True, it was rare for us to not be sat together but I felt the need to sit separately today. Watching him flirt with the girls who visit the Host Club. I know that is what we are here to do but I can't help feel jealous when he takes one of their hands and whispers in their ears in an intimate way. I wish he would be like that around me more. I shake my head. I can't be thinking things like that. I wish that I wasn't so confused when it came to him. I try to think of a rational explanation for these feelings but I only come back to one - I must be completely crazy.

I glance out of the window I am sat at, trying to find something outside to distract me. I can't find what I'm looking for so I train my eyes back to where he was sitting. He is not there anymore. I look around the room and find that it is empty. I must have been staring out the window longer than I thought. I grab my bag and rush out of the room. I can't believe that he didn't wait for me. I don't bother waiting for the car and walk home instead. Bad move. This gives me much more time to think about him. I wish there was a way that I could get over these feelings, a way to stop thinking that way about him.

I reach the house and head straight to our room. I know what I'm going to do now. I am going to be straight with him. Tell him my thoughts and feelings. I just hope that he won't run. If I were in his shoes it is what I would do. We have faced many things in the past and we have always faced them together but this is different. The walk gave me a chance to acknowledge my true feelings. I love him. I want to make him mine forever.

I enter our room. 'Hikaru. I need to tell you something'

_Hikaru_

I sat there with my clients for the day. I was doing my best but it is difficult without the reassurance of the brotherly love act. How do the others do this on their own everyday? I feel exposed, like everyone is staring at me. At that moment I glance up and notice that I am being stared at but not by anyone I was expecting. He sat there in the window staring at me but he doesn't notice that I have started staring back. He turns his head and looks out the window. Maybe he did catch me staring then. I turn back to the girls. I am feeling light-headed but in a good way. I look at the clock. Time to go home. I go to follow the rest out but notice that he is still sitting there. I walk over trying to get his attention. He doesn't notice me so I turn and leave. I hoped that he would have noticed then and followed me out. I got in the car that was waiting for us. The driver gave me an odd look but started the drive home anyway.

I waited in our room for what felt like ages. I was starting to get worried. Should I go and look for him? The car was still on the drive so he hadn't called for a lift. I wish I knew what he was thinking looking out of that window. He seemed so lost in thought. I wish that he was here right now so that we could talk. I get the feeling that he has been hiding something from me. I lay down on our bed trying to fight the urge to walk back to the school to see if I could find him.

As I lay there thinking I felt what he was going through. He must be nearly home. I feel confused and unsure about something but I couldn't pick up exactly what it was that was bothering him. Suddenly he didn't seem confused but determined. I wish I could know what it was that he seemed to have made his mind up about. I heard him approaching the bedroom door. I sat up waiting for him to come through the door.

'Hikaru. I need to tell you something'

He stopped talking then. I sat patiently hoping that he would continue but he just stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time. It made me a little uncomfortable. I looked at my feet. I was getting a strange feeling in my stomach. I heard him walking over to me and felt the bed dip when he sat down.

'Hikaru, I am in love with you.'

I continue to stare at my feet afraid of what I would do if I looked at him right now.

'Please say something. Tell me what you're thinking!'

'I think, I think I'm in love with you too'

I looked up at him. He is staring at me wide eyed. This was obviously not the reaction he was expecting. I stare straight back hoping that he knows I am not joking for once in my life. He reaches out and grabs my hand. In that moment a thousand thoughts and feelings pass between us unsaid. We don't need to say anything. We both know that without the other we are not complete.

_Kaoru_

I never imagined that he felt the same way. I sat there with his hand in mine absorbing the thoughts and feelings that we were sharing. We had always been close but by saying those words we had both broken down a barrier within us. I swing round and sit myself in his lap. I place my hand on his cheek before pulling him to meet my lips half way. I am petrified that he will pull away, that he will try to hide these feelings within himself. He places his hand over mine on his cheek and leans back. We tumble onto the bed.

_Hikaru_

I lay there with him on top of me. I stare into his beautiful eyes and see the same worry in them that I am feeling. What if we can't make this work? What if one of us has to leave? I can't make him cry so I promise myself and him that we will never be parted. He gazes into my eyes and I reach up to pull his lips back down to mine.


End file.
